Have I got a deal for you!

Homes are no longer selling themselves. Once upon a time, at the peak of the real estate surge, all a real estate professional had to do was place a listing and wait for the offers to pour in.

Not anymore.

And, with Web sites like ZipRealty and Redfin around, anyone can see a good portion of any property's listing. Since the vast majority of buyers are shopping around online, it would make sense for every real estate agent to put a lot of effort into making the property look and sound as appealing as possible for the online audience.

Wrong.

When a listing has something like this in the description, it can't be good for anyone: "Home has great potential and with a little tlc, could make all the difference finding a possible diamond in the ruff."

Bow wow. Seriously though, there's no excuse for this. Not only does it make the agent look unprofessional, it misses an opportunity to generate interest from prospective buyers.

As you probably figured, this isn't the only laughable listing out there. Consider the following excerpts from real listings I've come across recently in Southern California properties. My comments are underneath each quote.

And if you're fed up too and have any listings you'd like to share, be sure to leave a comment.

"Lowest association in east anaheim"
I'm into limbo so I'll fit in just fine.

"A touch of class. If your class is first class you must see this home!"
My class is first class. My job is good job. Still don't want to see this home.

"Bonus room!!!! Bonus rooms!!!!! Owner will help with clossing costs! Make any offer??? Appointment please."
If you chant this three times while clicking your heels, an agent-to-be gets their license.

"Lovely sound of water with many meandering streams flowing throughout walkways in complex."
And here I thought that was just an upstairs toilet flushing. Stick with real estate and leave words like "meandering streams" to a cheesy wannabe poet.

"The most remodelled unit on the market."
Remodeled is misspelled, but that's not the point. Take a look at the listing and tell me if you can see any photos showing off any of the remodel other than the bathroom in this cookie-cutter condo.

"A slice of oc history from the days of orange groves. Unique ranch style charm that can only come from a 1914 home. "
Translation: "Old home meets outdated floorplan."

"Incredible top-to-bottom-front-to-back remodel! No expense spared..Seriously!"
You had me. For a second, I thought you were a lying sack of garbage. Now I completely believe you!

"Nice, cozy, short sale, subject to bank approval.... Looking good"
You guessed it: No photo.